We had our small group last Friday night... we’ve started a new book, Grow at Home. It talks about how we, as parents, are in charge of our children’s spiritual growth and education.

In the first chapter there are two small paragraphs about grace in parenting. Made me stop and think... how much grace do I give myself? My God showers me with grace ever second of my wakeful days, he loves with no bounds, he cares for me as if I’m the most important thing he’s placed on the earth.

And I parent like that.  I am constantly forgiving, re-doing, teaching, etc.

But do I accept God’s grace as a parent? The short answer is no. I recount my day as I’m drifting off to sleep and think of all the things I did wrong, instead of all the things I did good. I worry that whatever I did that day wasn’t good enough, cereal for dinner??

If you struggle with that like I do, how can we give ourselves the grace that we freely give our children?

Delve deep into the scriptures. Hold on to the promise that tomorrow is another day.

"Therefore, stop worrying about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:34

How Does Your Garden Grow?

One of the things our family is doing this year is coming up with "family projects" to complete together over the weekends.... This past weekend we enjoyed being outside in the incredible weather and prepared our garden for planting!  It was interesting to see how each of our personalities came through and how we ended up working together by using each other's strengths. 

Joel was really excited about the idea of buying a new tiller.  He said it would take the work of hours and turn it into minutes.  Thea really enjoyed using the hand tiller and twisting the weeds and dirt with her muscles.  Sam wanted to just pull as many weeds out as fast as he could and I loved feeling the dirt between my fingers, watching my family come together to do something good. 

So much is said about how "it takes a village" to raise kids these days.  It's cliche but true!  When we work together and use each other's strengths to work together toward the common goal of making disciples we end up with so much good! 

Building up our children to become believers is a powerful (and sometimes scary) job.  Let's lean on each other and work together!

Forgiveness

The other day my daughter, Thea, brought up something that happened months ago.  Something that Sam had done to her that had hurt her.  My initial response to her was to get over it; it happened months ago.  Then I stopped to think what a great moment this was to teach forgiveness.  I'm talking full forgiveness.  

How do we define forgiveness?  According to Webster's Dictionary it's:

• to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong)
• to stop blaming (someone)
• to stop feeling anger about (something)
• to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)

Forgiveness is a verb.  It's an action.  It's purposeful and powerful.  And, it can be hard to do.

Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4 "Pay attention to yourselves!  If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him."

Yikes!  It's incredibly hard to "stop feeling anger toward someone" seven times in one day! Although, out of all those definitions of forgiveness I believe that's the easiest one to accomplish.  Especially for children.  They have a fight, they push or hurt, and not even 30 seconds later they are playing together again.  What I've seen that's hard from my own children (and myself) is the ability to "stop blaming".  In layman's terms I think of that as the "forgetting" part of "forgive & forget".  They may forgive the feeling of anger but they can certainly hold a grudge for a long time!

So, here's what I said to Thea the other day when she brought up a past hurt and was still blaming Sam...
Me: "When Sam hurt you that day did you forgive him?"
Thea: "Yes"
Me: "What does it mean to forgive someone?"
Thea: "To accept his apology."
Me: "Right, that's part of it.  Did you know that when someone has asked you for forgiveness you also have to let go of the blame, you have to let go of the hurt and not bring it up again."
Thea: "Well, that's hard for me because I remember everything."
Me: "I know, it's hard for me too.  I have to ask Jesus for help when I want to forgive someone.  And I sometimes have to ask many, many times for His help."
Thea: "What do you say to Jesus?"
Me: "I say, Jesus please help me to let this hurt go.  I know that I make mistakes and I know that you let everything go completely once I've asked for forgiveness.  Sometimes I make mistakes over and over again and every time you forgive me.  I pray that I can completely forgive all the time."

And, then, as quickly as a 6 year old can, she was off playing Barbies.

As the New School Year Begins...

School is staring, y'all!  I can't believe Joel and I have a SENIOR in High School, a sophomore and two 1st graders!  This year is going to be so exciting!  As the new year begins so does routine, structure, early bedtimes (yay!) and early mornings (boo).  Throughout the summer we have consistently brought Jesus into our lives through our daily dialogues but, I must admit, we haven't been doing our typical Bible devotion as we did last year.  I'm excited to begin it again.

Here's how we do it:

• 6 a.m. I wake up (I noticed last year I was so much nicer to my kiddos in the morning if I had already been up, got myself ready, had coffee and read a little in my own Bible!)
• 6:30 a.m. Wake up "the littles"
• 6:40 a.m. Downstairs for breakfast.  After breakfast is on the table we did  our bible study while they ate.  (The study took ~7 minutes including pray!)
• 7:00 a.m. (Yes, it took at least 20 minutes for my kids to eat breakfast!!) Get dressed, brush teeth, backpacks ready, etc.
• 7:10 - 7:15 a.m. Out the door to walk to school.  (This was my saving grace last year.  If we'd had a rough morning the walk to school was our time to regroup, energize and get back onto a happy path for the rest of the day... To say this was my favorite part of the day would be an understatement! So much dialogue and joy during our walks!  Picking them up is a close 2nd!)

Devotions can be intimidating for some parents.  Remember, it doesn't have to last long.  You just want your children to begin the habit of talking and praying to God as they begin each day.  Our oldest son Drew does a devotion in the morning on his phone.  He got in the habit and continues it because he was taught it was an important thing to do.  I love that he does it on his own now!  And, occasionally he'll bring me into the conversation with observations and questions!  Praise the Lord! Do you have a children's Bible?  Use that at first!  Read the story and say a prayer.  Our little ones learn so much from repetition!

This is what we used last year:
"Growing with Jesus" by Andy Holmes (click on each title to go to amazon for more info)
I liked this one because it was short and sweet and had 100 devotions all packed in the same book.  It also allows for practical application throughout our lives (I took something away from each day too!) [I have copies of this at church - let me know if you'd like one!]
"The Story For Little Ones" by Max Lucado
This one was a good start for children to learn favorite bible stories.  The illustrations are amazing too!

This year I plan on using:
"Five Minute Devotions for Children" by Pamela Kennedy
This one goes a little more in depth by giving a story and having questions for children to answer about their own life!
"Bible Devotions for Bedtime" by Daniel Partner
Even though this is a bedtime book it's still a great devotion to do together!  It has a short story then prayer to begin the day.

Do you have a favorite devotion you do with your children?  Share it with me!

Love Is In the Air!

Renewing your marriage vows…

In this day and age divorce is a common thing.  Many of our children’s friends come from a divorced family.  My own family is a blended family.  So, how to we reassure our children that our marriage is solid and will not break.  One simple way is to renew our marriage vows.  St. Philip’s United Methodist Church is offering a renewal of vows on Valentine’s Day at 5:00 p.m. in our historic chapel.  I would encourage you to bring your family and together renew your love for one another.  

Here are some discussion points to talk about to your children before and after the ceremony:

• -          We love God.  The reason we are renewing our vows in the chapel is a way to show our commitment to loving God.
• -          We love each other.  Renewing our sacred vows of marriage is a reaffirmation of love for each member of your family.
• -          We are committed.  This is an outward response to commit to your spouse and your children that you have made a commitment to each other and to God.
• -          Family is important.  Bringing your children to a vow renewal allows them to see and feel that they are an important part of the family unit and that the commitment flows down to them as well.

I hope that you will pray about your marriage and this opportunity.  Even if you are unable to attend this formal renewing of vows perhaps you would still discuss the points above with your children.  They need to know that we are committed to God and to love!

Helping Children Experience Worship

• Worship begins when your family enters the building.  Include your children when you greet others in the congregation and when you introduce yourself to new people.
• Help your child understand the flow of the service.  Encourage them to bring their bible and follow along when the scripture is read.
• Be aware of the different seasons and special events of the church.  Notice when the altar colors change or when we have new banners.
• Ask your child to listen to the message and be prepared to discuss it when you get home.
• Have children participate in the offering, no matter how small the amount they give.
• Give your child the opportunity to complete the ‘Kids Activity Sheet’ found in the back of the FLC and chapel.  Sometimes children listen more intently when they are using their hands.  The sheet also incorporates the week’s message and scripture.
• Encourage participation in Holy Communion.  Your child, regardless of age, is welcome to receive the bread and cup. 
• Make Sunday worship a regular part of the time you spend with your child.  Let God’s love be evident during the rest of the week too!
• Pray together as a family at home. 
• For the next several years you will be worshiping with your child.  St. Philip’s UMC supports you in this ministry as parents and we hope these ideas will help you make worship a positive experience!

“Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” Matthew 18:5 CEB

The Good Samaritan - and how my kids can be good neighbors

Wow!  What a week - I can't believe it's already Thursday.  I've been thinking of this blog since hearing the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) Sunday at church and can't help but think that God had his special timing in place for this lesson.  School started on Tuesday for my kiddos.  Junior & Freshman in High School along with two tiny Kindergartners.  Such a big transition for me.  

My two youngest kids have stayed home with me for the last 5 years.  I've been planting these little seeds of academia into their brains of course; but my big focus, my major focus, has been equipping them to be good neighbors.  Fortunately they have had a lot of practice since they've been together from the beginning.  I've constantly reminded them to be kind, loving, compassionate, trustworthy, and genuine.  We've read books on 'no biting', 'all people are different', 'God loves everyone' and with that my hope and desire for them when they encounter that big world of school is that they remember it all.  Oh sure, there will be set-backs - fights and disagreements - just like there were they last few years at home together.  But my hope is that they will remember our 'lessons' and act according to godly ways, thoughts and actions.  Just as the Samaritan did on that path long ago.  He didn't look away and cross the street, he faced the pain and discomfort head on.  He payed for medical treatment and he washed the wounds of the man himself.  I hope my kids will be that Samaritan.  They will not only act like him but they will be him if they see a friend or neighbor in need.  So, yes, I want them to learn to read, write and add; but my most important focus for them is to be of godly character - always.

I love putting notes into my kids lunch boxes (even though they aren't fluent readers yet).  I was so excited to find biblical focused lunch notes.  Click here to print them and stick them in your child's lunch!